It’s that time of year—you know, the one where all the stores become decked out with various shades of pink, atrocious amounts of candy, and lots of hearts.
Valentine’s Day. The day when you’re supposed to be all gushy and romantic and get dressed up and go on a date.
And for those of us who are single? Ah, well, we’re expected to stay home and cry ourselves to sleep.
(Actually, I’ll be sitting through an education class that night. 😊)
But that’s what the world – and our own hearts – can want us to think. That we’re missing something, that we’re victims, and we’re suffering because we’re not dating/courting/married, etc.
Let me just tell you something. If you’re single and a Christian, you’re right where God wants you. You’re not a victim. You’re not just stuck in this terrible time, waiting for your Prince Charming or (Princess Charming? Is that a thing?) to come to rescue you.
You have already been rescued.
I’m preaching to myself here. There have been times when I have desired to be married, to have kids. I think a lot of people—I daresay, especially young women—tend to ponder these things often.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Marriage and children are some of the Lord’s biggest blessings, and they’re absolute gifts from Him. Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church—it can’t get much better than that!
But when it gets to the point that we’re discontent because we’re not married, that we’re questioning the Lord’s plans because we aren’t in a relationship … that’s a problem.
“And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” (1 Timothy 6:8). That’s what the Bible says, and to me, that sounds pretty minimal. Just food and raiment? What about shelter? What about family, friendship, hobbies, pets?
We’re supposed to be content with our barest essential needs met. Nothing more.
We aren’t supposed to be covetous. Not desperately striving and longing for something that isn’t ours, even when it’s something good and honorable like marriage.
Okay. So we know we’re supposed to be content. But what about when the rubber meets the road, per se? How do we deal with these longings (longings that aren’t wrong in themselves), and keep them from becoming jealousy, bitterness, and hopelessness?
We look at Jesus.
Marriage as we know it doesn’t exist in heaven (Matthew 22:30). It’s an earthly thing, one that ends with death (in the perfect situation.) It’s simply a picture—a beautiful one, but still a picture. Not the end goal. Not the most important thing in our lives.
The only marriage that exists in heaven is the one between Christ and the Church. The perfect, ultimate marriage.
And guess what. We already have that Bridegroom, that Husband, that Savior. He is ours, and we are His. His love is greater than any person’s—why should we desperately long for more? His covenant to us is far greater, far deeper than any marriage vows. He will never fail us. He will never leave us. He will never be unkind to us. He will always perfectly love us.
So when the world, or someone close to you, or even your own heart shouts that you are missing something, that you are just a poor suffering single person … don’t listen.
You have the greatest Gift of all – Jesus.
And you know what? Singlehood is a blessing that God gives. Trust that the Lord knows what He’s doing in your life. If you would’ve been better off dating or married, you’d be there.
Seek to be content where you are today—don’t get caught up in the what-ifs of the future, those things that you could have, but just haven’t attained.
Live in today’s calling. Live in the blessings the Lord has showered upon you today – don’t look to tomorrow’s earthly hopes for your happiness. Your joy and your fulfillment come from the Lord … and you can have that today, for He changes not.
And the future we should look to? Well, that’s the one in heaven, a sure one, for it is “… an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you…” (1 Peter 1:4).
So, single person, trust the Lord in all things. Whether He brings that special person into your life or not is under His control—and right now, rejoice.
For you have already found Him whom your soul loves, and His banner over you is love.